A daily suppository

Wednesday 8 August 2012 7:26 AM

Here we are back on the Myki investigative trail, continuing from last time. When last I mused, I revealed the gnostic intrigue of the “change of mind”, with its promise of deeper enlightenment. I can now report that a mere isolated C.o.M. is simply paddling at the shallow end of Mykinian wisdom. Added to that, I think I now have a little more sympathy with my poor Myki. They do say that something beginning with ’s' simply .. er .. happens. Which of course it does. They rarely however name it’s opposite, which also .. happens. I'm speaking of course of constipation, which from time to time afflicts us all – let’s just be honest. Why should my Myki be any different? 

One should also recognise the embarrassing delicacy of the predicament which doubtlessly is as much behind the slowness of the unfolding revelation as the patience required for a cure. The C.o.M., I've concluded, is something akin to a daily suppository. And if you required that kind of therapy, then um .. well you know … you wouldn’t freely chat about it in the foyer after church, let’s face it. It seems that my poor Myki’s intestines are all knotted up with half-digested auto top-ups and a cancellation. (I feel flatulent just thinking about it.) After the initial C.o.M. (which did indeed function as promised – complete with an onscreen “change of mind” message) – and naturally the requisite 24-hour fast, in my neophyte innocency I was puzzled that only one of the three half-digested ten-dollar auto top-ups had been released to the card. But oh what a dull simpleton I was. I didn’t recognise the blinding obvious, and needed a patient Myki HQ guru to spell it out to me in phone call #47 this morning. You can’t expect a single C.o.M. to right every ill. Dear me, no. You need a separate C.o.M. for each half-digested morsel, with – quite properly – a 24-hour fast before the next, in each case. Now that’s what I call progress in the quest for spiritual enlightenment. 

So today I hied me off to Werribee train station once more, but not of course for some base purpose like catching a train. No, my quest was far purer. Having done one C.o.M. already, I was well prepared. And perhaps it’s a sign of how far I've come in this mystical quest, that it occurred to me that just maybe I could do the three remaining C.o.M.’s on the one occasion, 30 seconds apart. Just seemed logical somehow … My publicly observable behaviour on the station platform today would no doubt have been somewhere between entertaining and alarming, depending on the Myers-Briggs type of those watching. Likely surmises would be either that I was someone harmless enough, though two lettuce leaves short of a salad, or a terrorist giving a coded signal to his mates. It’s likely therefore that my next post will be penned from either a Federal Police lockup or one of those islands where ASIS bang up their internees. Stay tuned …

P.S. Might it be that the real force behind Myki is Interpol … ? There's some real fodder for investigative journalism.