The power of definition

Thursday 17 August 2006 1:12 AM

Imagine that! The solar system could be about to expand while we sleep. ("Three rocks from the sun spark war of the worlds", The Age 17/8) A planetary realignment? A deep space invasion? The end of the world? No. All it takes is a committee, and maybe a thesaurus. New definition, and presto! - three new planets. Who says meetings are a waste of time?

I advise the PM to recruit some of those astronomer guys fast. The possibilities ... Can't get a bill through the Senate? Redefine the term "majority", and double your numbers. Petrol prices embarassing? Redefine "debit" and "credit", and we'll be paying less. Too many boat people? Redefine "Australia", and send them all to Mt Isa. Unemployment figures a problem? Redefine "work", and ... Oh yeah, you already have.

Forget I mentioned it.